Next time you have an evening jam, turn off the lights. Not only will this make you better looking, it will help break you of looking at your fingers. If you can't turn off the lights, close your eyes.
Watching our fingers is a habit we develop when we're first learning that's hard to break, later, without a determined effort.
Once you break it and begin to look around, it's remarkable how much else you can see. Other musicians, for one thing; the dancers, for another. It's a lot easier for a woman who's trying to attract your attention to flash you if you're looking at her instead of your instrument. (You think that's never happened to you? How would you know if you're not looking?)
Beyond that, if you're trying to break into moving out of first position and up the neck, it's easier to let your hand feel a position than to use hand-eye coordination to put your fingers in the right spot. Your eyes get in the way. You want to be able to say, "I can play Quincy Dillon's High D with my eyes closed."
You don't watch your hands and feet when you drive; you don't need to when you play either. You do need hand-ear coordination, though, and that's something you develop by playing and listening. Here, too, it helps to get your eyes out of the way. Try playing with them closed. This won't let you see what everyone else is doing, but it will move your focus to your fingers and ears.
If you control the lights, try shutting them off for a tune or two. If you're embarrassed to admit you're just trying to break a bad habit, tell folks that you think everyone will feel more natural if you all play in the nude, and that you're turning off the lights so they'll be less self-conscious. When you turn them back on, you'll see if anyone took you seriously.
